Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained…or the return to an old friend.

My husband told me yesterday that there was a news story I thought I’d really enjoy, and he showed me a video of a woman who had made quite a splash epublishing her own work.   He watched me nod and smile my through it, because that woman repeated so many of the disappointments and frustrations that have marred my own writing venture.  At the end, he went… “Well?”

“Well, what?”  I asked.

“Have you considered this?”

Well, yes, I had.  When I admitted as much, he asked me why I hadn’t.  The answer was easy, when I had gone to start an account, the very reputable site I had chosen had asked for information I was uncomfortable with giving them, namely my ssn and my credit card number… things I was very careful with.   He pondered the answer for a long moment, before nodding and telling me, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

I was a little surprised that he would consider giving a site the credit card to cover any returns that might be more numerous than sales (What, you mean people might actually not like my book…?)   But I was heartened by the support and stated that I would most certainly consider it once I had finished “Clearing the Way”.    His response was a less than completely pleased stare, and he finally asked, “What about Emperor?  It’s finished, it just needs some editing.  I finished rereading it the other day, and I still think….”

Ah, yes.   I’ve mentioned it in this blog before, “The Emperor’s Finest” was my first completed novel, the doorstop that proves that once I break a mental block, I do it in a big way.  Completed in 1999, it’s not just old, but downright venerable.  Surely, the last twelve years have honed my skills to such a degree that it, the resident dinosaur, must be laughable in comparison to “Clearing the Way”.   But it’s always had a faithful fan in my beloved spouse, and I agreed to take another look at it, pretty certain that I was opening myself up to a dreadful full book edit…the third that this particular work has been through.   I was not thrilled with the idea, honestly.  I started opening my old…old…old files, and there it was, still as long as I remembered.   I started the reread, and cringed my way through the first 15 or so pages…just as bad as I was expecting.   But there was a point when the book had ceased to be another attempt destined to fail, and when I hit that point, that epiphany was obvious.   Not as graceful as the later works,(I think) it still delivered a rousing read and at the end, I was surprisingly still very proud of it.  It was not a full novel edit, but could definitely do with a new beginning.

And again, I was astonished by just how dark it is.   Time had softened my memory of it, but there it was, in all of its brutal, blood splashed glory.  Like all of mine, basically a love story, but it’s an imperfect and occasionally disturbing relationship.  Had I been in a funk that year?  Looking back, I don’t think so.   1999 would have put both my kids in school, which is where I’d come up with the time to actually complete it.   I was happy at home, happy as a stay at home, and actually quite content with things.   Why that time in life had spawned Arien and Niel, I can’t even begin to say, but it most certainly did.

So yes.  A new beginning to the one that started it all… perhaps it’s fitting.  (Now if I could just find the cd with the completed sequel, we’d be in business….)



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jackie Paulson
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 03:44:58


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